It Takes More Than A Child, To Complete A Relationship. My Reflections!

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It’s been a little over 10 years, since we first met. How we met? We didn’t actually, as it was a virtual meeting over some mobile app. How that casual chat transformed into a lifelong commitment, is a long story, may be for some other time. Point is, that the cupid struck and we got hitched. I hail from Delhi and he is from Ahmedabad. Perhaps, it was destined that our paths would cross, at the right moment, at the right place. So I became his long distance girlfriend. Me and Sahil are stark opposites of each other. Where on one hand, he is detail oriented, then I am the one who likes to flow with the flow. He believes in execution of things, I believe in first dreaming about them. He is ruled by logic and I am ruled by emotions. But still we chose each other. We were dissuaded by friends, but no logic seemed to work. Probably, that’s why love is called blind.  I think we chose each other for compatibility of our thoughts and basic values. He proposed to me without even meeting; and I accepted. Today, when I think about it, I shudder at the level of his audacity, and at my own gullibility.

It remained a long distance affair for three years, with a brief period of face to face courtship, for about six months. So, I am not sure whether to call myself a girlfriend of three years or of six months. The beauty of a long distance relationship is mesmerizing. There is so much you hold and carry in your heart, that a single phone call in a day can’t suffice. Remember, I am talking about a time, when phone calls were not dirt cheap. I eventually started maintaining a journal, wherein I captured all my feelings, messages and every trivia pertaining to us. People ask us often, how we could love each other, without physical presence. We argue that physical presence is required only when the connection is not deep enough. Most of us, believe in god. Though we haven’t ever seen him, but still we can sense the connection. If you are intuitive enough, then the same thing is true, for the matters of heart as well. I believe if a relationship can stand the test of time, then it is ready to stand any storm, which can come in one’s way. It always came naturally to us, we never had to put any effort to make it going, it was spontaneous, as if, it was being guided by our instincts. I wouldn’t say that we never yearned for proximity, but the separation always sweetened the joy of our brief meetings, something we cherish, even today.

We finally got married after three years. But as luck would have it, we were again separated by our calling. We spent almost two years in different cities, due to professional commitments. The best part about a long distance relationship is that you never feel old. Every random outing seems like a date and you yearn to learn more about your partner, despite knowing the most. Finally, we decided to draw the line somewhere and did whatever it takes, to be together. Though, we are now together, still we are trying to catch up on the lost time, and savor each other’s company even more.

Today, we are proud parents of a three year old. Much has transpired between these intermittent phases of physical and virtual transition. Parenthood doesn’t sway us completely, for we know that it just complements our relationship and doesn’t complete it. The child should only be an extension of one’s personality, and not the limitation. There is still more to life than just being a father and a mother. The couple in us, needs to remain alive always. How we accomplish that? Well, we try to keep the dialogue going on between us, amidst our busy schedules. Even if that means taking out an hour or two from our sleep quota, then be it. We explore our mutual interests together, talk about anything and everything, and still go on dates together. There are occasional flare ups, but who doesn’t have them? We make it a point, to yell and shout at each other, to let the negative emotions flow out of our existence. It ensures that, at the end of it, we are left with nothing against each other, except cleansed feelings.

The thumb rule is, if you still like to talk to your partner, the way it used to be when it all began, then definitely the relationship is on the right track. Trust and communication are the key ingredients for any lasting relationship. So far, these have been the hallmark of our journey. Also, we don’t expect much from one another, except companionship. There are matters, where we decide together, but we try not to influence each other’s individual choices. Companionship is not about “one body, two souls”, but it’s about having separate bodies with separate souls. We accept that we are two different individuals and respect each other’s free-will. The aim of our relationship is not to change each other but to mitigate our differences and live in harmony.

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