Raising Emotionally Healthy Children


Life has been kind enough to give me the opportunity, to view it from different perspectives. I had been a corporate-woman once; and now a mother and a teacher. The role of current generation teacher is to teach children, how to score good marks, wade through the cut-throat competition and earn a living. My corporate experience taught me, what this kind of earning a living can entail and what cut-throat competition can do to your body and mind. These seeds of drudgery and frustration are sown quite early and the entire system works in clockwork to propagate this misery and despair. In a world, where degrees and qualification determine your worth, then who cares about knowledge and real education.

I have seen children, really feeling stifled, for not being able to perform well in a specific subject. Howsoever good they may be at other subjects and things, but the stigma remains attached. We shout about uniqueness of every individual, but when it comes to education, then no such provision has been made to accommodate diversity of human mind. Today we are pushing children so much towards the abstract, that their link with the real world is gasping for breath. Kids these days are no longer in sync with their surroundings and are totally unaware about the practical stuff. I will try to substantiate my point with some of my experiences. Once I asked a child of eighth grade, where do we get LPG from at our homes? The child came from an educated family and was totally clueless. Shocked to hear that? Once I asked a child that if you are given a pot and you put it below a tap, but still it’s not filling, then what possibly could be wrong. To my surprise, the child was blank. Who is to blame? The parent, the teacher or the system, that are fostering ascent towards this abstraction, when most of the children are still struggling with practical knowledge. I read a status somewhere that “how common is common-sense” and the fact is, that it indeed is getting uncommon.

What a poor child can do? His entire day is planned and packed, in an attempt to keep him occupied all throughout the day. School and activities consume most part of the day. Now even the weekends are structured. We have planned birthday parties, organised dinners, structured play areas and what not. Where is the time for some randomness to creep in, some boredom to grow and for some thought to bloom? Avenues which can spur the curiosity and can give wings to the imagination, are increasingly becoming rare. In a race to top up the intelligence, emotional health of the child is taking a back-seat. No human is born worthless. It is just a label that we provide to the child, based upon our own pre-determined parameters. A child who grows up with such feelings of worthlessness,  is bound to become an insecure adult. An insecure adult will never say that he is insecure, but he will spread his insecurity, by making others feel insecure. This is how this vicious cycle of misery continues.

Marks and degrees can just give a kick start and provide a job. Something more is required to keep that job and to excel in it. Children, who are raised in an environment, where temperament of the parent is volatile and changes with the scores, are going to imbibe the behavior and will apply it to life. Life, as we all know, is not a bed of roses. It has its share of flowers and thorns. We need to prepare our children in such a way, so that, they not only smile at the flowers, but also laugh at the thorns.


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